Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
