You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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