Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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