I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
His nipple licking is glorious
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