Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
