found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
