That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
