I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
