Sponge bath it is.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
