From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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