I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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