1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
