oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
