i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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