Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
