Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
