he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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