I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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