I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
