Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
