i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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