Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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