Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
