I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
