I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
