We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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