I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do vagina's smell?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
