i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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