this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
