she was so not down for the gang bang
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
