I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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