I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
