so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
