Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
