i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
