How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
