If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
