May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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