Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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