i just had sex bonerless
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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