I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
