after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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