and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
