Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
