So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
