So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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