I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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