Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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