What did we do last night that was yellow?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
