How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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