20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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