Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
